Encyclopedia Chabad
By Rabbi Chaim Miller

"‘When G-d blesses a Jewish home, the greatest blessing He can give is sons and daughters whom the parents will raise in the ways of our ancestors, Avrohom and Sara, following the way of G-d, practicing justice and righteousness.’ True blessings and health, in both a physical and spiritual sense, with which G-d blesses a Jewish family, are connected with the family keeping taharas ha’mishpacha (family purity) and having children. These mitzvos will prevent us from being affected by the disturbing influences that have been brought into the world by the absence of taharas ha’mishpacha. Every child who is born into the family represents a greater blessing for his parents, grandparents and siblings. The importance of each new child is seen by the fact that the State of Israel is willing to pay tens of thousands of dollars for each new immigrant.

"Furthermore, when the child is born, G-d gives the means to sustain him. The child is not a burden to his parents; this is their son or daughter for whom G-d has provided. They need not worry about making a living; G-d ‘sustains and provides for all.’ He carries the burden of providing for the father and mother, the son and the daughter. For a time, He sustains the children through the medium of their parents. Later on, their sustenance is given to them directly. Even when parents help their children at an advanced age, the means to do so is given by G-d. The greatest blessing, privilege and source of satisfaction a family can have is the opportunity to raise and educate children."

"One of the arguments is based on concern about economics. After all, maintaining a large family costs more. A Jew cannot accept such an argument, for he is ‘a believer, the descendent of a believer’ (Shabbos 97a), who declares his faith each day (in the grace after meals) that G-d ‘in His kindness, provides sustenance for the entire world with grace.’ Perhaps they have mercy on G-d and wish to lighten His burden. Maybe they are afraid that since He has to provide for the mother and father, it is unfair to ask Him to provide for the children. They should not worry about how they are going to balance their budgets, but should leave that to G-d.

"G-d has no lack of funds, as the verse declares (Chaggai 2:8), ‘The silver is Mine and the gold is Mine.’ There is no question that if He can provide for four billion people, He will manage to provide for another little boy or girl. Parents should lead normal family lives, according to taharas ha’mishpacha (family purity), granting each woman her conjugal rights, and leave the rest up to G-d. If He wants to bless them with more children, with many children, with even more than a minyan, they should gladly accept these blessings and even pray to G-d for more."

"Others try to rationalize their behavior with arguments from Jewish law, arguing that since the mitzva to ‘Be fruitful and multiply’ (Bereishis 1:28) can be fulfilled by having only two children (c.f. Yevamos 61b; Rambam, Hilchos Ishus 15:4); a son and a daughter, there is no need to have more. They may even support their positions with Kabbalistic sources explaining that the Arizal writes (Likkutei HaShas, Yevamos, Ibid.) that a father and mother allude to the first two letters of G-d’s name (Yud and Hei) and a son and a daughter to the second two (Vav and Hei). After they have completed G-d’s name, why should they have more children?

"These rationalizations are not even acceptable according to the Kitzur Shulchan Aruch, and surely not according to Chassidus. Indeed, the second half of the command ‘Be fruitful and multiply’ is ‘fill the earth and subdue it.’ We must have as many children as necessary to ‘fill the earth.’

"Furthermore, the order in which topics are mentioned in the Torah is significant. The fact that this mitzva is the first mitzva, commanded at the very beginning of the Torah, emphasizes its importance."

"This applies to every Jewish home, even one in which the relationship between the husband and wife is in need of improvement. The Torah teaches that even a sota (a woman whose immodest behavior caused her to undergo the test described in the Torah) is blessed with children if she is found to be innocent of the charges brought against her.

"There are those who argue that it is necessary to wait for the relationship between a husband and wife to reach the highest possible level before having children. They believe that people should refrain from having children until the atmosphere in the home is the most refined. The Torah teaches, however, that even in cases where the relationship is less than perfect, children are a blessing."

"If someone has questions about this matter, they can resolve them by looking at what has happened to couples who have limited the number of their children. This program has been called a very diplomatic name: family planning. Its proponents maintain that since every aspect of a person’s life should be planned out in advance, a plan must also be developed concerning how many children to have and at which stage of life to have them. On the surface, such a plan may sound attractive. However, this attractive phraseology covers up a terrible danger, the nature of which can be appreciated only by examining the effects of family planning. A look at the results proves dramatically how it has strained relationships and created emotional hardships between husbands and wives.

"When the normal process of marital life as decreed by G-d in the Torah is altered, and altered radically, the peace of the household is bound to be disturbed. Family planning opposes not only a Torah approach to married life, but a normal human approach to life. It has caused couples to seek psychotherapy, marriage counseling, etc. Instead of bringing order into their lives, family planning has disturbed the order established by G-d in the Torah."

"If one has doubts about this issue, let him examine Jewish history and see how our ancestors lived in the past, before the spiritual darkness that challenges our generation descended. In all previous generations, Torah Jews believed that having a large family constituted the greatest possible blessing. However, the spiritual darkness of the present generation, which allows darkness to be called light, and light, darkness, has caused the prevailing attitude to change."

"We can all see what a great blessing having children is. The greatest pleasure a man or woman can have is watching his children grow up and live according to Torah and mitzvos. Our capacity for pleasure is not satisfied by only one child, for as our Sages have said regarding desires: ‘Whoever has one hundred (coins), wants two hundred’ (Koheles Rabba 1:13). The pleasure and satisfaction we have from one child will make us desire even more. Furthermore, by having many children we can see a variety of qualities expressed by our offspring: one child may be devoted to Torah study, a second to prayer, a third to deeds of kindness."

"If a family limits the amount of children they have, they will regret it later on. (This statement does not refer to the spiritual consequences such as denial of Olam HaBa, a portion of the world to come caused by their act that can and will be corrected by t’shuva, but rather the social and emotional consequences the parents will later feel.) Eventually children grow up and leave home, building their own families. Naturally, their parents will want to visit them, but they cannot remain constant guests in one place. No matter how close the relationship, the advice of the Book of Proverbs (25:17), ‘Let your foot be seldom in your neighbor’s house,’ applies to some degree. The children will have their own affairs and will not appreciate constant visits by their parents. If parents have many children, there is no problem, for they are able to divide their visits between them. However, if they have only one child, they will have to spend much of their time alone, having no one with whom to speak."

"All the arguments for preventing the birth of children – that the family relationship is not good enough, that there is a possibility they will not receive a proper education, that the funds to raise them must be secured, have one source: the yetzer ha’ra (evil inclination).

"The yetzer ha’ra is very clever. If he would present himself openly, no Jew would even listen to him. Therefore, he puts on ‘Jewish clothes’ – a silk sirtuk – and tries to persuade the Jew that it is a mitzva not to have children. ‘This way,’ he will say, ‘You will have more time to devote to valuable projects, etc.’ However, we must realize that despite these devices, the arguments are those of the yetzer ha’ra, and there is nothing that the yetzer ha’ra wants that is good for a Jew."

"The most disturbing factor is that birth control has become acceptable and no one argues or protests against it. This matter is of great importance, but is often ignored at conventions and meetings at which Torah-conscious men or women gather to discuss various issues. Without minimizing the value and importance of the other topics they discuss, proper attention should be given to this fundamental matter..."

"N’shei Chabad must issue the first call to action, publishing it in every country and language (in a modest and proper manner), proclaiming that the world and all its particular aspects are controlled by G-d. He gave every Jew the candle of mitzva and the light of Torah, a Torah of life, which illuminates our daily life. By following G-d’s mitzvos as brought down in the Shulchan Aruch, we follow a path of light. In doing so, all plans are left to G-d. In contrast, family planning destroys a marital relationship, threatens the future of the Jewish nation, and delays the coming of Moshiach. May it be G-d’s will that every one of you make a resolution to speak to Jewish women about this matter, asking them to have mercy on their husbands and on their children, who want another brother or sister. When they speak from the heart, their words will enter the heart."

"Our Sages explain (Yevamos 62a) that Moshiach will not come until all the souls have descended into this world. Through having children, the time of his coming is hastened.

"Every Jewish woman must appreciate that her behavior can affect the entire world, as the Rambam (Hil. T’shuva 3:4) says: With one mitzva, every Jew can bring salvation and deliverance to the entire world."

(Based on Sichos of Shabbos Parshas Naso 5740 and 17 Sivan 5740; see also Likkutei Sichos, Vol. 25, p. 35ff.)