We
Have The Greatest Happiness
By
P. Pinsky
A
special interview with two women shluchos who are educating
“Moshiach’dike children” in the final days of Exile. * Mrs.
Chaya Niselevitz, principal of the Shneur School in France and
Mrs. Miriam Kalmanson, educator and curriculum director of the
school.
Describe
your family background.
Mrs.
Chaya Niselevitz: I was born to the Kalmanson family, a
longtime Lubavitch family who, after the war, moved from Russia to
France and settled in Aubervilliers with another fifteen families.
At first, the members of the community thought they were the only
Jews living there, but after contacting the Rebbe, it turned out
that there were 200 Jewish families in the city.
Slowly
there began to develop communal ties, especially in Jewish
matters, but the main problem for my parents was chin uch.
My father wrote a letter to the Rebbe in which he said that he
sent his five daughters, starting from the age of five, to the
dormitory of Beis Rivka, but that he wanted to send his little
girls to the non-Jewish school for a few hours to play.
The
Rebbe sent him an express letter which said, “In that country
[i.e., Russia] you didn’t have to send, but here you have to
send!?”
My
parents understood from this that they had to work on Jewish
education. My father, R’ Shalom Mendel Kalmanson, bought a piece
of land and built a school, which my sisters directed, though with
great difficulty.
My
sister, Shterna Deitsch, was the principal before me. After she
married she wanted to move to Eretz Yisroel. My father reported
this to the Rebbe and offered three suggestions for a new
principal, including the name of my brother-in-law, R’ Mendel
Deitsch.
In
his answer, the Rebbe circled his choice of R’ Mendel, who is
still the general administrator of the schools in Aubervilliers.
At a later point I joined the staff, first as teacher, driver,
lunchroom facilitator and director of cultural events. Later, my
work centered on administration, and today I serve as educational
principal of the Mosdos Shneur, which serve 600 pupils.
Mrs.
Miriam Kalmanson (formerly Greenberg): I have seven children.
This is my most important profession, in addition to my
involvement in other educational endeavors. As a girl I worked at
Beis Rivka High School in Kfar Chabad, Beis Chana in Minnesota,
and at the Beis Rivka High School and Seminary in New York.
After
my marriage, we went on shlichus to Australia, where I was
a teacher in the high school and seminary. Today we are on shlichus
in France. I teach twelfth grade and work on the curriculum
for the Shneur School.
Mrs.
Kalmanson, you have an impressive educational past in which you
were able to observe many Chabad schools. Can you point out
anything they have in common?
The
point they have in common is their goal: to teach girls to be a Chassida
of the Rebbe and to do everything to bring Moshiach. Of course,
the means of doing so vary according to the school and background
of the pupils. When the focus of the teacher is on the goal and
not on the self, it is easy to adapt to educating people from
varied backgrounds.
The
school operates according to one standard – Moshiach! To learn Moshiach’dik,
behave Moshiach’dik, and live Moshiach’dik. How
can this be implemented and taught within the framework of school?
Mrs.
Kalmanson: When Moshiach will come, the world and the Jew in
particular will achieve perfection in daas, as it says,
“and the world will be full of dei’a (knowledge) of
Hashem like water covers the sea.”
As
a preparation for this, in our times it is essential that a Jewish
girl know Tanach and be well-versed in it. I consider it
important that the girls know about Trei Asar, Iyov, and Koheles.
In other words, we emphasize a broad base of knowledge as well as
a deep understanding that includes analysis and commentaries.
The
principle of living with Moshiach guides us not only in the way we
learn but also in what we learn. We select most chapters of Tanach
based on their connection to Exile or Redemption. In this
way we foster a cognitive awareness and sensitivity towards the
subject matter.
Mrs.
Niselevitch: Our message to the girls is clear. The Rebbe
informed the world that we are living in a new era. Moshiach is
already here and knocking on our door. We just have to open our
eyes! The natural outcome of this information is a fundamental
change in all areas, particularly in chinuch. The purpose
of Redemption is to recognize Hashem’s oneness and to attain the
application of “I was only created to serve my Maker.”
Today,
there are no longer concealments and you don’t have to seek the
truth, for you can see it and sense it. Twenty years ago when I
was a student, education was much more difficult. I remember how
girls made fun of the religious girls who hadn’t developed a
taste and appreciation for the pleasures of this world. Today,
twenty years later, when you take a look, you see who really has nachas,
who gets to celebrate brissin, bar mitzvos, and
weddings... Today, after the process of refining the world is
over, everything is open, and we must educate our girls for
Redemption in a way that is 100% - without compromising the
slightest bit.
In
times like ours when the truth is revealed to all, we must give
our students the tools with which to properly decide to go in the
way of Redemption, and not, ch’v, back to Exile.
Your
task in life is to raise “Moshiach’dike children.” Is
this practical considering the manifold educational difficulties
we are encountering today?
Mrs.
Niselevitch: I don’t know what you mean when you say
educational difficulties. Chinuch was always fraught with
difficulties, and at the same time there was always siyata
di’Shmaya. We can raise Moshiach’dike children if
we give them the tools, i.e., Chassidus, Torah, and hiskashrus to
the Rebbe. That, with the knowledge that the responsibility for chinuch
lies on the Rebbe’s shoulders, makes me feel absolutely at ease,
knowing that the Rebbe is protecting us.
There
are practical expressions of this. For example, I don’t isolate
my children. I send them to birthday parties of non-religious
children (with certain conditions, of course) in order for them to
do a shlichus, say a sicha, teach them about
Redemption, etc. I am aware that my child could be exposed to
things he never saw before, but I am confident that when he
returns home he’ll say, “Ima, despite all the good
things they have, we have the greatest happiness.”
Our
children are educated on the principle that the Torah doesn’t
limit us. On the contrary, it frees us, develops us, makes us
smart, and most importantly, it gives us pleasure and joy.
Mrs.
Kalmanson: You’ve touched on a sensitive area. I must admit
it is fraught with many challenges. Chinuch is our game of
life. It is a war of survival. But, of course, we are not prepared
to be content with just surviving. If Hashem wants a dwelling here
below, then we want chinuch even in the most decadent of
societies. In our case, this is France, which is connected on the
one hand with Beis Moshiach and the letters “u’faratzta,”
and on the other hand is the most decadent country of all.
I
remember that when I came here I thought to myself: here is where
I will be educating children to Chassidishkeit, to eidelkeit?!
I have to say it hasn’t been easy.
The
Rebbe always adjured us to keep the atmosphere pure around our
children, starting from the earliest ages, even before birth.
This, however, creates a conflict, for I want to protect my
children as much as possible, but it’s almost an impossible
situation. To be specific, we know that Chazal say that the
Jewish people were redeemed from Egypt because they did not change
their names, their language, and their clothes. In other words,
one of the signs of assimilation is using the local language. I
speak only Yiddish with my children. That demands a lot of effort
and perseverance. I am not complaining. We work hard and baruch
Hashem we see results.
Mrs.
Kalmanson, please tell us more about the challenges you have to
contend with.
Here
are some examples:
The
family, for one. My husband, like other shluchim, is very
busy and we see him less than we would like. Sometimes the
children complain. It’s hard for me, too, because with all the
desire to be a shlucha, I always dreamed of a nice and
orderly family life.
Clothing
– our children always have to be different than their friends.
They all have long hair and our children must have decent
haircuts. The girls all wear clunky-looking sneakers and our girls
cannot.
Socially
and educationally it is difficult. I have boys and I want the best
for them, the most pure. I realize they have to study secular
subjects, but here in France it’s a real problem. In France, the
education department requires philosophy (secular, of course), and
there is an emphasis on being a “good citizen.” We don’t
even have to mention the science subjects, which include outright
heresy. Sometimes a gentile teacher isn’t careful and she
ridicules the children for not going to discos and the movies.
The
children were tested in physical education recently and my
students, into whom I have put so much for three years, had to
wear pants. It really hurts.
Do
you have any solutions to these problems?
Of
course. I only described this in order to emphasize the role of
the shaliach in educating his children and students,
despite what’s going on out there. I think that after overcoming
the difficulties, our children are far more immune than other
children. We fill in for our children in all the areas that are
lacking.
It
takes a lot of conversation, plus lots of loving bonding, non-stop
investment and hands-on involvement. I don’t think there are
other children who approach the bookcase as quickly for HaTamim
or Likkutei Dibburim, for their own reading pleasure, as
ours. This is standard fare for us. Our children listen to many
tapes that enrich their knowledge of Torah.
The
girls don’t learn from the same books as the rest of their
class. They read a lot in Yiddish and Hebrew and feel they have an
advantage in this over others. The interesting thing is that
teachers tell me that my children look different; they are more
pure and more refined.
Most
importantly, we try to implement the principle we saw in the Rebbe
himself, being a personal example. I remember a story of a person
who asked the Rebbe for a bracha for his son, that he
should grow up to be a talmid chacham. The Rebbe answered:
“[You] start learning and your son will become a talmid
chacham.” When a child sees his father falling asleep over
his Rambam, he will learn Rambam, and when a girl sees her mother
dressed properly and tznius’dik, she will follow in her
footsteps. And above all, the prayer and the brachos of the
Rebbe are what lead to the desired results.
Mrs.
Niselevitch, you don’t have much choice when it comes to
government-mandated curricula. How do you approach the matter? Do
you think this contradicts the great investment in the area of chinuch?
I’ll
give you a somewhat surprising answer. It bothers me more that a
teacher in the limudei kodesh department has a hard time
answering a question that a girl poses than when a non-Jewish
teacher says a line like the one mentioned earlier.
That
gentile teacher, from her perspective, offered advice (i.e.,
discos and movies) on how to enjoy life! She doesn’t understand
how you can enjoy life without going to these places. In her
opinion, this is the ultimate in possible pleasures. Our girls
learn Chassidus and they are, baruch Hashem, developing the
proper sensitivities, which helps them understand what true
pleasure is.
Perhaps
it is specifically a gentile teacher who develops our feeling of
“ashreinu, ma tov chelkeinu – how fortunate we are!”
I
think that when a teacher of Jewish subjects doesn’t communicate
the proper commitment, the damage is far greater. Our students
have to sense that our way is clear, without inner battles of
permitted and forbidden. I can say from my own experience that
when you work that way, you end up in a situation the opposite of
Moshiach. All the teachers, Jews and l’havdil non-Jews,
religious and secular, sit together around one table and discuss
how to bring the children to the highest levels of behavior and
education.
Mrs.
Niselevitz, from what you said it sounds like a good chinuch
is established mostly from the home. We know that is true, for
we know that the power of the messenger is greater than that of
the message. But what do you do in order to protect your children
and educate them in a spirit of taharas ha’kodesh?
First
of all, the Rebbe gave us a great gift, which is called the Seifer
HaShluchim. The truth is that I cannot explain this
rationally, but the facts are simply amazing. My children don’t
stop looking at these volumes. They feel that Lubavitch is one
entity and that we are all in the same army with the same mission
in the same war and with the same challenges. This gives a sense
of confidence, responsibility, pride and maturity.
Secondly,
a deeper matter. Shlichus develops the ability to rise to a
challenge, to develop the inner soul. We all learned about the
concepts of iskafia and is’hapcha; my children
have become accustomed to living with them and being strengthened
by them. When they encounter indecent images, for instance, they
lower their eyes and give nachas to the Rebbe.
Thirdly,
on a more positive note, I try to give the children everything
they need. I try to be generous with them as much as possible, so
that they feel good and not deprived. For example, I am particular
about their appearance, etc.
On
the personal and spiritual level, perhaps there is room for
concern when it comes to chinuch, but I never thought I
would be able to provide a complete chinuch. From the
beginning, I relied on Hashem and the Rebbe.
I
don’t take on comprehensive chinuch projects because each
situation is unique. Each issue has to be judged for itself. The
main thing is that Moshiach is about to come and we may and must
rely on him.
Perhaps
we should expose our children to the world in order to immunize
them.
Mrs.
Kalmanson: Ch’v! Should we learn the hard way? Even
angels cannot withstand that, so how should our generation?
I
don’t need to prove whether or not it’s possible to become
immunized. Evil, unfortunately, doesn’t have to be taught. I
don’t know whether you can be protected or not, but I will do
all I can so that my children don’t learn from gentile teachers,
don’t learn from textbooks with immodest pictures and with
impure text, and don’t appear in inappropriate clothing. I
received the best in chinuch and G-d willing I will do the
same for my children.
Mrs.
Niselevitz: Hashem gave me free choice and one is forbidden to
rely on miracles. Those things I have control over, I take care
of. But when I don’t have control over a situation, I do my part
and Hashem does His. Baruch Hashem, we enjoy great success.
In the past, our city was desolate. Today, thanks to the chinuch,
the situation has changed tremendously.
You
represent very different approaches, one chesed and the
other g’vura; one milmata l’maaleh and the other
milmala l’matta. How can this be?!
Mrs.
Niselevitz: Outwardly our approaches are different, but really
they complement one another. For example, my son is happy to take
the shortest haircut because his Kalmanson cousin does. My
daughter is waging a battle for Yiddish because in her cousins’
house they speak only Yiddish.
At
the same time, Mrs. Kalmanson can do all she does because she
isn’t the only one. There are other families who educate their
children al taharas ha’kodesh, too.
In
the era of Moshiach there must be many success stories. Tell us
about some of them.
Mrs.
Kalmanson: Success is a relative term. For me, success means
standing off to the side and seeing your student handling life
issues properly. The students know a girl who is thinking about
intermarrying. They know couples who don’t live together al
pi halacha, and they have to decide for themselves where they
stand.
I’ll
give you a few examples. A student approached me and asked me to
learn taharas ha’mishpacha with her sister. This request
reflects great maturity and I am sure it comes from the chinuch
at school.
This
week I received a telephone call from a former student applying to
be a counselor in Gan Yisroel. I asked her why she was interested,
and she said, “My parents found a job for me for summer
vacation, but it requires working on Shabbos. What should I do
when I don’t want to work on Shabbos?”
Once,
we took pictures. One of the girls I had put a lot of effort into
told everybody, “Stand, smile, and say ‘Yechi!’”
For me that was real nachas.
Mrs.
Niselevitz: Ten years ago a modern-looking man entered my
office. He had long hair and an earring. He stood there silently
and waited. I looked at him in surprise and asked him what he
wanted. He said, “I want to send my children to school.” I
replied that our school has certain requirements; our school is a
Lubavitch school.
He
knew that, he said. “I am a graduate of Shneur and even before I
graduated, I decided that I would send my children here.”
We
took care of all the formalities, and his son was accepted in the
school. On his first day I received a frantic call from my sister.
“Chaya, what did you do? There’s a man standing here who
doesn’t fit in at all and he says you accepted him into the
school?” I quickly told her that everything was fine and it was
a special case.
About
a month later I passed by his house. To my surprise I saw a sukka
built on his porch. I immediately called him and remarked at how
quickly he was making changes. He explained, “My son came home
from kindergarten and said that the teacher had told them to build
a sukka and I couldn’t say no, so I built the sukka.”
Baruch
Hashem, today he is a loyal member of the Chabad House, drives
a mivtza tank, and works devotedly to bring Moshiach.
A
true story with an eternal message about how investing in a
child’s chinuch is never for naught.
After
such a special interview, please take the opportunity to give
words from the heart to our readers.
Mrs.
Kalmanson: Today, in the era of Moshiach, there is no
contradiction between the concepts of p’nimiyus and chitzoniyus.
We must adopt this reality among ourselves. I make this plea from
the depths of my soul. The Rebbe requested and demanded a high
level of tznius. Please, let us all wear this crown as Chassidishe
daughters and as nashim-shluchos.
Mrs.
Niselevitz: I have two main messages: In my home I was raised
not to talk about others. It was during my childhood when the
problems with Satmar began. I remember how my father always
forbade us from talking about them, even a word. It wasn’t
because he was afraid of the prohibition of lashon ha’ra
but because Lubavitch has to act better than everyone and must
show the way for everyone else. I think this message is a
necessary one for our times – respecting everyone as they are.
My
second point is about the sicha of Ki Seitzei 5748, when
the Rebbe spoke about simcha. I think we did all the avoda,
but simcha is lacking. We must rejoice over the very
announcement of Redemption. In that sicha the Rebbe said to
try it out and see for yourself [that it will bring the Geula].
I
prefer to live with Moshiach. This way I am much happier than I
ever was. Don’t lose out!
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